


Rest

by sabinelagrande



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Deus Vox Machina, Episode: e079 Thordak Spoilers, Episode: e080 Raishan Spoilers, F/M, Missing Scene, Non-Sexual Intimacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-17 00:13:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9295796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabinelagrande/pseuds/sabinelagrande
Summary: After Thordak and Raishan, Vex needs a moment.





	

Keyleth and Scanlan have one use left each for their most well-utilized spells, so they can return to Whitestone or use the mansion. All of them are worthless for much else, including carrying on with the fighting raging in Emon. By the skin of their teeth they make it through the Cloudtop, collecting an unconscious Kash and bloodied Zahra before they get the holy fuck out of there.

"Revivify is the spell of the day," Zahra says when she hears their brief rundown of events, leaning heavily on her staff as Grog forces a potion down Kash's throat. "It has to be Whitestone. We can't leave it unattended, not if Raishan is alive."

"I'll catch up with you later," Kima says, unsheathing the Holy Avenger and running towards the sound of approaching combat. Vex almost calls out to stop her, but honestly, Kima is the only one of them having the kind of bad day that hitting things with a sword will solve. She'll be fine.

It takes time to find a tree in the ruins, but they manage, slipping through to Whitestone just before raising the alarm of a group of harried-looking lizardfolk. In the instant it takes to get to the Sun Tree, Vex is gripped with fear, convinced that Whitestone will already be choked with poison, torn down stone by stone by Raishan's claws. But no, they step through, and aside from the runners waiting anxiously at the tree, it's like they never left. That floors Vex, like it always does when they go off to do something ridiculous and return. It seems like there should not be continuity anywhere when things are so dire.

In the next few hours, Vex is an automaton. They clean up, they discuss what happened, they eat, they go to their rooms, and Vex feels all of it as if it's surrounded in cotton, at a remove. She's aware that she and Scanlan are getting worried glances, but she can't seem to focus on it, like the meaning is so clear but eluding her entirely. She's still quick with a witticism, pretending to be fine, but she knows that all of it is hollow, like she's doing it by rote.

She walks to her room; Vax is waiting for her, but he doesn't even say anything, just takes her into his arms and holds her tightly, as tight as he can.

There is nothing to be said that hasn't been said before.

Vax finally lets her go, kissing her forehead, and Vex pulls him in again, holding on to him for another long moment before he leaves. He'd stay if she wanted, whether that meant in her room or at her door, but right now it's not what either of them need.

She enters her room, shedding her boots and armor before she lays down on the bed, looking up at the ceiling.

She died again.

She doesn't know how many more times she can do that.

She lays there for a long time; she doesn't sleep, but she isn't really trying to. The knock on her door startles her, even though she was half-expecting to hear it. 

"Vex'ahlia?" Percy says, and Vex is on her feet before she even makes the conscious decision to go to him. It's nothing like the last time; there is no mischief in her now, no sense of play. She hopes he didn't bring liquor this time, because she'd just get drunk and cry messily into his shirt. Somehow she doubts that Percy doesn't understand that.

She opens the door, and Percy is waiting. He is empty-handed, wearing just a shirt and trousers, and she wants to touch him so badly, just put her hands on him and prove that they are both still alive.

"I should tell you before you decide to come in," Vex says, because she's awful to herself sometimes, "I don't know if I want to have sex."

"I don't know either," Percy says. "We'll play it by ear. I just know I need to be with you."

Vex steps back, opening the door wider. "Come in."

"When I thought this was going to be a victory celebration, I had all sorts of ideas on what to bring," he says, as she closes the door behind him. "But it's not, so I just brought me."

"That's all I want," she says, and he pulls her into his arms. Something in her starts to ease, something that has knotted up. It feels like sensation returning to a limb that's fallen asleep, pain needling her as the feeling returns. She hugs him tighter, shutting her eyes; maybe she needed both her favorite men tonight before she could feel again.

It's a long time before she lets him go. He leads her to the bed, sitting down and pulling her close. His hands roam her body, but it doesn't feel sexual, more like he's checking her over, assuring himself that she's still all there. She lets him, putting her hands in his hair and running her nails gently over his scalp, something to calm him.

He ends with his hands on her hips, looking up at her. "I promise to treat you as your own woman, and as such I will not give you ultimatums or forbid you things," he says. "But you are _never_ to do that again."

"You're one to talk," Vex says. "Not a month ago, I watched Ripley-" She can't finish that sentence, not tonight, not with everything still so fresh.

"I have so much more to lose now than I did a month ago," Percy says, with such a look of bare honesty that Vex almost pulls away from him. This is so much, too much for people who've had just one night together. Surely this is too far, more than she should accept, more than she should give. She feels trapped for a moment, like the weight of this will crush her.

She takes a breath instead. This is Percy, and she's been his for so long that she can't remember what it was like to be with him and not in love. They've passed the point of this being something casual, something not packed with meaning, even if they haven't actually been together for more than a few short hours.

Vex takes his hand, pressing it to her chest. "You have my heart, for as long as it beats," she says, though she knows that he would have it even after, would be linked to him long after her soul has fled.

"Which is why you simply cannot die," Percy says. "I will try to refrain from dying myself, but I- I think I could handle that better than watching you fall again."

"Let's just aim to live forever," she says, and she regrets it until Percy smiles at her.

"Let's," he says.

Vex lets him undress her and slides under the covers, and he strips and joins her. He gathers her into his arms, holding her close; he whispers something into her hair, but Vex knows it's not really meant for her, just something he had to say. There are so many things she could say right now, but she's not going to. She's earned a night where she doesn't have to be the clever one, where she can just rest.

So they do.


End file.
